|lovely sunset November 2013|
Even though I had an incredible love for John Denver and his music, often, I had no idea what he was talking about. How could anyone not know who they are?
I assumed I was Paula Johnson Bruno, high school dropout, wife, mother, daughter, flower shop worker bee, over worked and under paid, certainly under appreciated especially by me, closeted writer, lowly nobody from the "wrong" area of town (by that I mean not ridiculously prosperous), someone no body would remember except my immediate family.
Then at some point I realized that things are not what they seem and I embarked on a journey to find a better way to make the most of this gift we call "life".
|Laverne's White clematis vine 2013|
I did the first "21 Day Meditation Challenge with Opra and Deepak Chopra" in October, then started the second one, "Desire and Destiny" in November so I could continue to cultivate the habit of meditating every morning.
Meditating is basically "quieting the mind", slowing down the chatter that goes on non stop, 24/7 for most of us. It involves paying attention to the breath, which, by the way, I had never given much thought except regarding how I feel when I can't catch mine.
But breathing is the most important body function we have. Without it, nothing else happens -- for long. So it is worth shining the light of appreciation on the fact that breath literally means "life", at least physical life.
On Day One of the "Desire and Destiny 21 Day Challenge" the listener is encouraged to ask the question, "Who am I?"
Have you ever asked yourself that?
It's one of the "soul questions" that, when answered can lead us to a deeper understanding of who we are and what we really want. The instructions said, "ask, then listen for the answer."
So, I asked and waited, asked and waited. At first the only thing that came to mind was "I don't know", then general, all encompassing thoughts began to come like "child of the universe", "spiritual being" and "energy essence" which are probably true but didn't help much in answering the question, "Who am I?" but after about three days of asking myself that occasionally, I received this "word cloud".
|My Chamo Kitty Cat|
"Paula Bruno, writer, animal lover, birds, pigeons, turtle enthusiast, flowers, water catchment, gardener, plants, parrots, hummingbirds, moths, butterflies, dragonflies, rabbits, food, nostalgic signs, purple, red, tan, horses, cowboys, baseball, writing, poetry, western, local, designer, inspired and inspiring, meditation, enlightened, truth, compassionate, understanding, loved, loving, kind, kinder, and kindest, happy, joyful, interested, enthusiastic, law of attraction, Abraham, Seth, me, consciousness, appreciation, gratitude, quiet, family, laid back, tolerant, easy, nature, trees, grass, flowers, good will, rest, relaxation, fun, people, new ideas, friends, family, home, neat, clean, beautiful."
All of those words have something to do with who I am or who I want to be.
Notice nothing negative came in the word cloud that I received. This description of me and what I want to be has a completely different feel than the first description I put down of who I once thought I was.
There is no point, no good to be had from listing all our negative qualities and failures, to beating our self up with them our whole life. If you do that, stop it. Right this minute.
It is sad to me that many of us live most of our lives with little understanding of how this all works and why we are here. It is even sadder that we live most of our life feeling the way we do about ourselves,
many different reasons -- when actually there is no such thing as one person being more important or more worthy than another.
I am a beginner at meditating. I admit, that so far, I have not had any of the "wonderful" experiences that many who meditate claim to have. But my feet feel better. My knees are back to normal. I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. That's worth a whole lot to me.
Day Two asks, "what do I want?" Believe it or not, that question wasn't any easier to answer.