|Light House on the Oregon Coast|
Life is complicated.
Recently, it got more so than I was willing to endure any longer.
Abraham encourages taking the path of least resistance, but sometimes it's hard to identify which path is the one of least resistance. That's where I've been for two and a half years -- trying to figure it out.
I'm more comfortable financially if I work, but the challenges I faced the days I was on the job began to out weigh the benefit of the pay check.
In the 45 years I was married to Ronnie, I learned alternative methods of dealing with his ability to blow sky high over some simple irritant.
I don't think I should have to do that at work.
So I dangled on the rope of uncertainty for many months.
I went on my "trip of a lifetime" to Oregon and when I got home the power play at work continued.
One evening after I'd locked up the pigeons for the night, I realized I was still trying to figure out the puzzles (there were several) at work, worrying about what kind of reception I'd get on the first day I was "allowed" to come back, and suddenly a voice in my head said, "just let go of the rope."
But I went back to work the next day. The reception was rather chilly. Very little enthusiasm to hear about all the beautiful stuff I'd seen and photographed on my trip. No "let's see the pictures" even though we only had a couple of orders to deal with.
You might think my feelings were hurt, but it felt more like confirmation that I should just "let go of the rope".
So I did.
I gave it a weekend of thought then turned in my key Monday morning.
I wish it had not turned out this way, but situations that actually had nothing to do with me changed the work environment into one of "hell if you do and hell if you don't".
The feelings of relief come with every reminder that I don't have to deal with it anymore.
One thing I've learned for sure is that money isn't everything.
I have a home, a car, enough money for food and gas, and I have internet access, so I'm happy.
In fact, I'm thrilled. I am finally free and I'm looking forward to seeing where this new path leads.
|My Thacker's Trail|